15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time:

1- Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2- Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3- Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4- Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and see what happens.
5- Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay  away.
6- Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7- Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them  in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8- When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't  you people just leave me alone?'
9- Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10- While  handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he  knows where the anti- depressants are.
11- Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission  impossible" theme.
12- In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13- Hide in a clothing rack and  when people browse through,  say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14- When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO!  It's those  voices again!!!!"
15- Go into a fitting room and  shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly,  "There is no toilet paper in here!"